I thought I’d have my shit together by now. And I do but I already have one kid and I’m struggling because the cost of living is so high where we are and I can’t move because of custody agreements with her dad.

But now I’m pregnant by a one night stand and I don’t think I can do it alone. He doesn’t want to be a father, and the more I got to know him I realize I don’t really want him to be my child’s father either.

I feel stupid and ashamed.

My daughter wants a sibling so bad. I want to give it to her but not like this. I want my children to both have dads, I want a family, I don’t want to be raising two children alone, I can’t do it,

Maybe if my daughters dad was less narcissistic and wouldn’t try to use me having a baby alone against me, and maybe if I had a better paying, work from home job, then I could do it. But I just can’t see myself doing it. I have to prioritize my kid who’s already here.

I never expected to be in this position after one night of weakness and lust but here I am and it hurts so bad.

I’m also angry because the man that did this to me gets to live his life like nothing happened and I have to deal with the pain and trauma of abortion alone.