I’m so mad at myself …

Growing up I was never taught how to save or budget money. I went from living comfortably-no money issues ever to marrying not into money. If that makes sense. Hubby and I were raised completely different and I’m trying but it’s hard.

Now as an adult I feel like I live paycheck to paycheck (even though I’m married). I got into a bad habit to where I got a few loans to get me by until next paycheck and they are almost paid off but it leaves me with pretty much nothing. My husband does know about my loans- he was really really mad about it . But doesn’t offer to help with that stress. NO I do not expect him to. But I feel like I’m drowning. We don’t share an account, he never wanted to. (He didn’t want me to spend what he made-was his reasoning-before we got married).

I want to do better with money but I was never taught and I feel like if I shared an account with my husband, I would be more diligent and he can watch the money.

Once the loans are paid I need to stop, but it’s hard. I have a problem obviously.

Any advice would be appreciated, please be nice I know I messed up.