Miscarriage and sadness

Am

Amy
I found out I was miscarrying on Christmas Day, and had a D & C on 12/29. I am only a week from the day we found out, but having such a tough time with routine things. I feel like how can I just go on with normal activities when my life was not supposed to be this way now. I have such short patience with everyone and everything and I hate talking to anyone about normal things. Hearing other people laugh is killing me because there is no joy in my house right now. Just looking for some support....
509 views • 1 upvote • 39 comments

COMMENT (39)

Ka

Posted at
This is my 2nd miscarriage. This time we went in at 5 weeks and was progressing like I was supposed to be and could see the sac. My husband, who originally didn't want to tell till my 2nd trimester, got excited and told on Christmas. I began miscarrying on the 28th and finally passed everything at home on NYE. What a way to start the new year. This being my second I am able to cope better but my first took about 2 weeks for me to get back to normal. Hang in there. There is a beautiful baby awaiting all of us. 

Am

Amy • Jan 3, 2016
I am finding that out! All of the emotions are just overwhelming.

Ka

Kayla • Jan 2, 2016
Same to you! You are not alone in the confusing time. Miscarriage is a sadly common occurrence.

Am

Amy • Jan 2, 2016
Thank you so much for your response and wishing you peace as you move forward.

Me

Posted at
I had my miscarriage on the 17th. Christmas was hard for me that's the day we were going to tell everyone the good news.

Am

Amy • Jan 3, 2016
So sorry Natascha....nothing about this process is easy

Me

Megan • Jan 3, 2016
I'm so sorry

Na

Natascha • Jan 3, 2016
I should have waited like you- we told everyone on thanksgiving, and I spent all of christmas having to go over the bad news over and over and over again. I've since avoided other events because I just can't handle it.

Re

Posted at
I miscarried for the second time in November. I didn't realize that people think there should be time constraints on how long I should grieve for. I'm legitimately depressed. I've never had depression before. It's not a word that I take lightly. I feel completely alienated by those around me. They cannot understand how I feel. I've finally decided to contact a therapist. I need to get these feelings out. And I'm also going to do couples counseling with my husband because he just doesn't get it. The fact that I feel this way makes me feel like a complete failure. 

Am

Amy • Jan 7, 2016
I think people just dont know what to say. I dont know that I would have known what to say either before experiencing it myself. And at this point, just having people talk at all is aggravating, but I know it is just me and my hormones and my grief. the

Ca

Caitlyn • Jan 7, 2016
I totally understand wat you saying. I am miserable. and when people tell me...don't worry, u can try again...I want to hurt them. I know I can try again and God willing it will go fine. but u can't just have ur baby die and say...Oh well I will try again. uuurrggghhh....I think that's the most frustrating for me. people can say anything but that.

Am

Amy • Jan 7, 2016
I am just in a fog, going through the motions, trying not to cry all day long at work, waiting to fall apart until I get home. i have faith it will be easier someday, but for right now, it just sucks

Br

Posted at
Life has to go on and it hurts to see other people happy while ur sad and suffering but its no ones fault. Just give time to yourself away from them. Maybe that will help.

Ca

Posted at
We lost our first baby Dec 15 last year. I totally understand exactly how you are feeling. We were only about 5 weeks along when we lost her. Mourning the loss of your baby is a long journey and as we remembered again this year it was still pretty hard. We try our best to find the joy in our love for one another. We will see both of our babies again someday. I'm sorry you are going through this tough time right now but I am praying for you and yours. 

Ca

Carmen • Jan 7, 2016
I hope so as well.

Am

Amy • Jan 7, 2016
I am thinking about you both. I hate that so many of us have to go through this. Really hoping we can all find some peace someday.

Ca

Carmen • Jan 7, 2016
I'm doing alright. Honestly, I'm still dealing with a lot of depression. The real question is how are YOU doing?

Ca

Posted at
I have also miscarried and reading these stories I see everyone has a d&c. My doctor gave me pills to get everything out but never spoke of a d&c. Is it a must?

Ka

Katie • Jan 6, 2016
My Dr reccomend a d&c; or naturally. He doesn't like to give medicine that induces it because it hurts and bleeds a lot more than he thinks it should and there's a high chance he would have to do a d&c; anyway.

Na

Posted at
I SO feel you. I had my 12 week appt on 12/23, finally getting less nervous as I was approaching the end of the 'danger zone' and I had previously miscarried in september, I was feeling good. During the ultrasound, the tech turned the monitor away from me and told me there was no heartbeat. They shuffled me into a room and gave me some very clinical info from a printout and told me because of the holidays they wouldn't be able to schedule my d&c until this week. Devastated does not even begin to describe it. I ended up being rushed to the ER that night in severe pain and they did the d&c 12/24. Since then- I have never been so depressed in my life. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I try to distract myself to prevent myself from crying continuously. I'm so thankful for my husband, he's taking such good care of me and making sure I eat and rest. I just feel like all the joy and life has been sucked from me and I have nothing left. I miss my baby so much. We had already told me whole family and our friends, my mom had bought me maternity clothes for christmas and had to hastily exchange them. A gift slipped through from a coworker that was in a bag that said 'momma to be' and I cried for hours just looking at the bag. I havw a panic disorder, and have been heavily medicated to keep my condition in control previous to my pregnancy, but I don't want to go back on the meds. I just want to feel.. something. Hopeful, happy, not terribly depressed.. anything. Last night was the first time I could let my husband even see me naked after the miscarriage. Though  e assures me otherwise, I feel like a failure as a woman. I want to get pregnant again so badly. Much love to all the angel mamas out there ❤️

Na

Natascha • Jan 3, 2016
I feel the same way. I'm angry at myself, angry at the world, I'm really struggling with even taking care of myself because I feel like my body failed me and I don't deserve it. And the 'it's really common' comment makes me want to punch people. Losing a child is not effing 'common'. wish you peace

Am

Amy • Jan 3, 2016
Oh, and I was also medicated previously for anxiety and depression....I don't want to go back on meds because we will be TTC again soon. And in some weird way, I don't want to take the anxiety away. I feel like I failed my baby, I deserve to suffer....

Am

Amy • Jan 3, 2016
I am so so sorry for your loss. I feel like I should be feeling better, but I just am getting worse the further away from my D & C I get. I just keep thinking that all my happiness has been ripped from me and no one understands the depth of the pain. My family and friends are trying to be supportive, but the fact that they say miscarriage is so common and they move on with normal life just infuriates me. I dont care how common it is, it isnt common for me. Just having such a tough time....wishing you some sort of peace throughout this experience.

Ke

Posted at
I'm with you. I lost my twins somewhere around Christmas at 18w and still have yet to get the D&E due to the holidays or go into labor (whichever comes first). Last night was hard for me. My husband was trying to be nice and asked me what my goals and hopes are for the new year, I just started bawling because what I thought this year would bring has changed. There will be no babies 😥. My hopes and dreams for the new year are shattered. I can't even think about any good that could happen right now. If my husband does get me to smile or think I'm happy for a second, I feel guilty and instantly start crying. Life just sucks right now.

Na

Natascha • Jan 3, 2016
Ugh, I'm crying just reading this. Everything I looked forward to is gone and now I feel stuck in limbo. I miss my babies so much💔

Am

Amy • Jan 2, 2016
I totally agree. This year is just not going to be the way it was supposed to, the way I was looking so forward to. Wishing you peace as you deal with this heartbreak and the entire process.

🍀

Posted at
When I miscarried my first pregnancy at 13 weeks, I took 1.5 weeks off work because I emotionally just wasn't ready to go out. Thankful I have a job where that wasn't a problem. It took several more weeks after that to return to my normal routine of doing dishes, laundry, etc. Take all the time you need!

Am

Amy • Jan 2, 2016
Thanks so much, I just feel guilty to go one with life without my baby