GENUINELY CONFUSED

I am genuinely confused as why my ex boyfriend will say how I am all these awful things, call me awful names, say what a bad person I am but than always constantly try to get back with me?

There have been times where I have gotten back with him and all he does is throw in my face all the things I’ve done in the past so we end up never moving forward, fight, and than breakup. Than he will keep reaching out to me. It hurts because I really do believe I am all these awful things he calls me but it leaves me so confused because than why does he want to be with me still? I’ve asked him and he says “it’s because I hope you’ll change”. So it leaves me thinking I really am all the bad things he says I am. I don’t know. I’m confused.