My fiancée and I (both women) are due to be married next year (yay)! We’ve talked about TTC and both want children. She has been adamant about not wanting to carry, and I definitely do want to carry. The problem is .. she is having trouble with the idea of not being biologically related to the child(ren). She feels as though she would be equivalent to a step parents or an aunt. She thinks the child(ren) would eventually resent her &/or would eventually ask why I (the bio mom) wasn’t with their “father” (Sperm donor- we would be using an anonymous donor from a cryo bank). I’ve told her that this isn’t the case and that the child would be OUR child but she just says that I don’t understand. I’ve also told her that I’m sure the child(ren) will ask a lot of different questions that we don’t know the answers to. I have told her that I do not completely understand the way she thinks about it, but that I do respect her feelings. I feel like the only middle ground would be reciprocal <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> which is..

$$$$. I have told her that if we decide to ttc, we should probably do some counseling before to maybe help with her feelings and process each others thoughts. I just know that this is our biggest point of contention.. I’ve lost two babies prior to this relationship, and I really want to be a mom one day. I just don’t know what to do / say.