My sex life with my fiancé sucks

Sorry it’s so long but I need to rant b/c idk who to talk to. Mature content.

My fiancé and I have been together for almost 4 years. We got engaged last year and we were planning to get married Spring 2024 but now we’re pushing it to 2025 because we’re in the process of buying a house. Obviously, I love him and I know he loves me. But I’m questioning some thing’s now.

My fiancé has never been a very sexual person, at least not with me. The first year, we would have sex 1-2 times a week which I was ok with but other than that, it’s been 1-2 times a month. I tell him that I need more than that because… well… ya girls got needs 😌and he always responds with “we’ve been having more sex” he’s talking about when it’s 2x a month 🙃 I don’t even initiate it anymore because he’s turned me down when I do. It has to be when he’s in the mood. So I resort to toys when I’m feeling frisky (and no, i don’t tell him about it).

Back to him not being a sexual person with me, In the past, I’ve caught him on only fans, watching porn, or even just looking at naked or half naked girls on IG. So you know what that means. That was a year ago. I talked to him about that and asked him why he would do that and masturbate to others but only have sex with me once a month. Is there something wrong with me? He says it’s never been an issue with any of his exes and I’m the only one that’s complained. Well with my exes, I never had to use toys 🤷🏻‍♀️ but Ive never told him that b/c I don’t talk about exes nor compare. Idk if he stopped but I haven’t caught him since. He’s been on his phone a lot lately, like literally all day since he gets home from work and he says I’m on my phone but I literally get home from work to clean and cook and then do hw.

The last 2 times we have had sex (so once in July and today), I don’t think he ejaculated. I asked him today if he finished and he was being weird about it but he said yea. I told him I felt like he didn’t and he just walked out of the room. Since then, he’s been avoiding the conversation and is acting like everything is normal.

Also, sex has been boring. At the beginning, I would tell him what I wanted and how we can make it better for next time because he was getting all the pleasure and me? well,… none. He tried some things but other things just completely ignored. And now i feel like he does the bare minimum. Since the beginning of the year, it’s the Same thing, same spot, same position, same amount of time (quick) every time. He tells me, “let’s go to the room” and it just gets awkward real quick. I told him today he’s not the least bit romantic and he got mad. Then we go to the room, we make out for like 10 seconds, I try to change positions but he lays me on the edge of the bed while he’s kneeling on the floor, he eats me out real quick (sometimes I don’t finish but he doesn’t care because he’s tired), he stands up, puts it in while I’m still on my back, lasts maybe 15-30 seconds, he’s done, cleans himself, and walks away. Today I was laying there like “wtf!?” Like he’s not even trying anymore. He thinks that just by having quick sex, I’m satisfied. He thinks he’s doing something by just doing the bare minimum. He doesn’t touch me. He doesn’t even take off my top or bra. I don’t feel loved in that moment.

I’m questioning everything now. Is this how marriage is? I want to talk to him about it tomorrow. I don’t want to end things just because of the sex (unless he’s cheating). How do I find out if he’s talking to someone? Besides asking him of course b/c I know he won’t tell me if he is. I don’t even know how to talk to him about the sex 😩 this can’t be how marriage is. Or have I been watching too many movies?