How do you discipline your child or children?

Question

Just curious

Answer

Peoples definition of those options varies too much to get an accurate poll

Answer

There’s no such things as “disciplinary spanking”. Hitting your child is abuse.

Answer

We practice gentle parenting and attachment parenting. Spanking is just lazy. No child needs to be spanked.

Answer

Purposeful/gentle parenting/emotional coaching. It’s our job to teach our kids how to live in a cohesive society. So from day one, they don’t know how to behave. Sure, I speak firmly or shout sometimes but always apologise, modelling that my child can act out but as long as they regulate and apologise, it’s alright. If I hit him, he’s learning it’s okay to do that to other people. Which it isn’t. Anyways, I read gentle parenting is more for the parent, teaching ourselves to regulate our own emotions from our poor parenting so we can model for our kids and id say it’s accurate. Really been a journey in teaching myself not to fly off the handle

Answer

I didn’t really know what to choose in the poll. Honestly there’s not much we actually use discipline for. 
If he throws a toy or isn’t playing nice with something, we take it away. If he’s splashing too hard in the tub or throwing water out, we either switch him to a shower or take him out. 
If he’s crying because we are leaving the park and he doesn’t want to go, we either sit down and talk to him at eye level about how he’s feeling while staying firm on the boundary and leaving after he’s calmed down, or we remove him and talk to him in the car if he’s inconsolable. If he’s throwing a fit because we won’t get Oreos at the grocery store, we do the same as we would if we were leaving the park. 
If he’s having a tantrum and isn’t listening or hitting, especially if his baby sister is nearby, we carry him to his room and he will come out when he’s calm and ready to talk, or we will go in to help him settle down and talk after 5 minutes if he’s still going.

Answer

I put gentle parenting before i saw emotional coaching. Ive never heard that term before but I think it fits my style of parenting. My son has had very big emotions since he was a toddler so working on emotional regulation has been an on going process. We focus a lot on pausing and breathing through overwhelming emotions, and then once he's calmed himself enough to express himself verbally I give him space to vent to me and I validate his feelings and talk him through them. overall I just try to guide him towards healthy ways of handling his emotions. As he's gotten older ive tried to give him more space alone to self soothe too, so if hes getting too overwhelmed i'll ask him to go hang out in his room and collect himself and then we'll talk it out an hour or so later. And as far as discipline i'll ground him from certain activities like video games, and then have him help me around the house and give him additional chores while hes grounded (but nothing crazy or age inappropriate). And I try to make chore time fun and turn it into a bonding moment. Overall i believe in proactively encouraging prosocial behaviors versus punishment for the sake of punishment.

Answer

I do not spank my son. Hitting anyone regardless of age is wrong. And how hypocritical is it to get after a child for hitting another child by hitting them as well… make that make sense. Our kids should feel comfortable and safe with us, they should be able to tell us anything even if they do something wrong. They won’t do that if they don’t feel safe with us, and hitting/spanking them breaks that trust. What are they suppose to think when their own parents who claim to love them, have no issue putting hands on them? That teaches them distrust, it also makes it so they hide stuff from us even shit that possibly harmful to them. Anyone who thinks, well I was spanked and I turned out fine… is lying to themselves. You didn’t turn out fine, you kept the cycle of abuse going because that’s what you’re use to.

Answer

I do gentle parenting/respectful parenting/ attachment parenting. We will NEVER do physical discipline. That’s abusive. We do natural and logical consequences depending on behavior. We validate feelings and emotions.

Answer

All of the above. All are great tools when used appropriately. All can be abused as well. None of them should be used in anger. Every child is different too. What works for one, may not work for another. There's no "one size fits all" approach.

Answer

Depends on the situation. If they are having a meltdown we help them through their emotions. If they are being harmful to others they are removed from the situation. We don't spank. "If they're too young to reason with, why are you hitting them? If they're old enough to reason with, why are you hitting them?"

How do you discipline your child or children?

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