middle ground in discussions

Ok so I wonder..

How do you find middle ground when you're making decisions..

For example..

I like the bedroom door closed when I'm sleeping because of my childhood trauma (my abuser would come in my room at night or early in the morning to beat me up. The click of the door would wake me up, just enough to protect my vitals. The closed door makes me feel safe) I explained this to my partner.

My partner prefers the bedroom door open because he likes the airflow that way.

It's going to be one thing or the other, you can't 50% on this..

I grew up with physical and emotional abuse. I don't know where to lay a boundary.

@K

For me that's still an open door, a door that doesn't "click" when opened. And to him that would probably still be a closed door because the air doesn't flow like with the door wide open.

Either way, since I don't know how to lay a boundary, we sleep with the door open. I expressed how I felt and he wiped it off the table. I sleep with the door closed when he's not sleeping with me.

I am now 30, we're together for 9 years and I've been trying to leave him for the last year. He doesn't let me and I know that he shouldn't have a say, I just don't have the backbone. So he's telling me I should work for our relationship first and he's wanting me to stand my ground more and he tells me he wants to be more respectful of my wishes and feelings. But on some things you can't go halfway and I feel he's still pushing through his thoughts regardless of how I feel. I feel like he's still completely disregarding my boundaries.. because he thinks they aren't strong enough.. I don't know...