Less of a Woman

This is a weird question but it bothers me a little.

As a child, I was very sensitive. I’d cry over everything, happy and sad. Even if I heard a slow song, it would bring on the water works for no reason at all. The adults in my life never made me feel bad for it or anything like that, but as I got into junior and high school, other kids started to call me crybaby and names like that. During my teenage years I let that turn to anger instead of sadness because I didn’t want to be made fun of for my extreme emotions, so I was a pretty hateful teenager though as I grew and matured I learned to communicate the best I could with my peers resolving conflicts.

Anyway fast forward to a serious not-so-healthy relationship with someone I truly loved, it seemed like if I cried during any disagreement, it made him more angry at me. Like it just fueled the fire for me to cry. He would yell in my face how big of a pos I was, and how I’m no good at anything, etc. It went on for two years and I finally left. This was 6 years ago but ever since I left that relationship, I feel like I’m incapable of crying at all. I’ve had 2 very close people in my life pass away and the only time I even get sad about it is if I have a drink. I feel like a man. I’m not sure if that relationship may have caused some trauma that I haven’t healed, or what. But I definitely feel like less of a woman now because I can’t shed a tear during times that women should. Funerals, my sister’s wedding, the freaking Notebook doesn’t even do it. I think I’m broken lol.

Any (nice) advice is welcomed. I still don’t like mean criticism lol.