Im ugly but can’t stop laughing

Ok this is absolutely mortifying and should make me depressed as hell but I keep cracking up every time I think about it. i’ve been working at my job for five months now. it’s a surgery center so all the staff wears masks still. within the passed few weeks they allowed us to not wear masks, but only in the actual ORs if we wanted. i’ve been consistently wearing mine. I have body dysmorphia and realized that no one has seen me without a mask. no one knows what I look like, and it’s fucking w my head. so basically I decided to do baby steps, and decided to bring down my mask for a little each day. I know it’ll just make my BDD worse but I have to. so I did it yesterday and my coworker called my name and I turned around… guys… his face literally dropped and he started stuttering. my other coworker next to him’s face also dropped. and they both just went from normal to blank expressions immediately when they saw my face. gosh I was so embarrassed thinking about how ugly I must’ve looked compared to what they thought and how much of a shock it was, but seeing their reactions the same thing has me DYING 😂😂😂😂 I should be more sad about this but for some reason it felt like a comedy movie when the ugly person turns around and u try to act natural😂😂😂 anyways i’ll probably be sad about this when i’m PMSing but it’s a good laugh for now.