Abuse or am I being sensitive?

I’m in need of some advice on my crumbling marriage..

I’ll be the first to admit I have my flaws. I’m currently doing the work on childhood traumas and depression. My partner has been incredibly “triggering” for me ever since our LO was born 3 years ago.

In the past when I’ve voiced that I felt like I was drowning in the mental and physical workload in the house (while also working) I was always met with “Tell me more about how I’m a shitty husband” which just snow balled into a bigger argument. Sometimes we would agree on things for him to take on, but it never lasted long.

When I had voiced a few other concerns I had, he would immediately flip it around on me and start attacking me. After the argument I’d ask where it came from, and he always says that he felt the need to defend himself and retaliate, and that he didn’t mean it.

Am I being overly sensitive to this due to my past, or are these comments bordline abusive?

I’m really starting to feel like I’m crazy for making a big deal out of these, and I have family members telling me to “remember our vows” but deep down, I feel like these behaviours are truly not okay.