I can’t stop cutting my hair…

So you all are probably thinking this is a troll cause like who in their right mind can’t stop cutting their hair but I ensure you it’s 100% I real thing I’ve been struggling with for a year and a half. It all started last spring when I tried to cut my own bangs. I ended up botching them and cut them way too short. Then it went down hill from there. I kept trying to fix it or make it look better and it just kept getting worse. Until one day I stood in the mirror crying with most of my boob length, ginger (everyone always compliments me on my hair, it was my thing, beautiful thick red hair…and me being self conscious and always worried about what other ppl think I really thought this was all I had going for me. It was my one thing every wished they had but couldn’t have and I had it.)

Anyways, so I called the hair stylist (stranger as I was too embarrassed to call my normal stylist) balling on the phone asking if they could get me in and try and do ANYTHING to fix it. So she got me in and she gave me a mullet. 😭 I tried to rock it for a week or two but I was so embarrassed and hated it so I once again… yes I’m going to say it…tried to fix it myself. I was left with a botched pixie. To embarrassed to call any salon, I then called my aunt who was a stylist in the 80s and worked at a nursing home salon. 🤦‍♀️ Well I left my moms that day looking like an 80 year old granny. I cried for 3 days straight and looked into Extentions but with my hair colour and thickness would cost a fortune (man do I wish now I would have just got the $900 Extentions) so I called yet another salon. This time the best in my city and went in for an appointment. The stylist there nailed it. Although I always said I would never do short hair, being that I was stuck with it she gave me the best it was going to be and I rocked it for 6 weeks. ( I still hated it and cried everyday) but at least it was styled. Well the stylist that time told me to let the top grow out and keep getting the bottom trimmed until it was the same length. Well yet again… I tried this on my own and to make a long story a little less long after a few attempted fixes, I ended up buzzing it to start fresh.

After that I started buying wigs, ALOT of wigs. We’re talking to date I’ve prolly spent $10,000 or more on wigs. Why so much? Well now I can’t stop cutting them and ruining them, as well as my own hair. It was finally starting to grow back some and I fucked it up once again and buzzed.l it again, three more times as well as cut and ruined over 30 wigs.

It’s now a year and a half later and I’m depressed, miserable, embarrassed, alone, my marriage is about to fall apart, my sanity is falling apart and I feel like such an ugly, freak who is a weirdo with an addiction to cutting hair. Please no rude comments as my soul can’t take the criticism , I guess I’m just getting this off my chest as I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone and feel like I’m dying on the inside. Thanks for reading my sad life