Am i being messed up?

Question

My MIL is staying with us for a while (many months) and due to the medicine she takes for pain she cannot drink alcohol and i like to drink wine once in a while after a stressful day or just to relax. Today i bought a bottle of wine for myself and she said she was envious of me because i can drink alcohol. I feel bad. What am i supposed to do here? I used to drink a bottle a week before she got here and have definitelycut back a lot but when i feel like getting myself some wine like i did today she says things like that. I know shes not trying to be rude but, and i dont want to feel like i need to hide it from her. Am i being selfish? What would you do?

Answer

Continue to enjoy your wine in your own home after a stressful day. Dont feel uncomfortable in your home. Just ignore comments like that or just say "oh im sorry let me go to another room so im not drinking the wine infront of you" and go relax.

Answer

Just because somebody says they are envious of you for something, doesn't mean you need to stop doing what you're doing to make them more comfortable. It doesn't even mean that they are even uncomfortable￼. There are two different types of envy. There is malicious envy, which causes people to want to bring you down because you are better off than them in someway￼. This is not that. ￼This is more of a benign expression of envy. She is recognizing that you are better off and she aspires to be able to do what you are doing. ￼She did not tell you that she wants you to stop. She is simply expressing that she misses being able to have a glass like you do. So I wouldn't do anything differently. She did not say she's uncomfortable with it, so why would you have to make her more comfortable? You can ask if it makes her uncomfortable, and go from there.￼ Or just keep doing what you're doing since she did not express discomfort. ￼

Answer

Was it her genuinely upset or more of “aw man I wish I could drink!” I would maybe not drink it in front of her if you choose, but that’s your home, you’re an adult, and she’s staying for multiple months. I would still enjoy your wine but that’s just me!

Answer

I've never been a fan of the "when one suffers we all suffer" bs. Why make everyone miserable when you can just cope? Your mother in law needs to bite her lip OR even better, reevaluate why her relationship with alcohol is driving her to act like this when she's denied it. Im pregnant and haven't thought twice about being around others while they are drinking, I used to frequently have a drink with friends prior to becoming pregnant too, so its not like I don't like drinking

Answer

I would buy her the non-alcoholic wine so you guys can have a drink together.

Answer

Drink your wine and enjoy. It doesn’t sound like she meant anything of it, other than sucks she can’t join you.

Answer

You're overthinking this

Answer

Just enjoy your wine. It's your home! I'm a people pleaser, so I would probably hide in my bedroom lol. But really you can drink it whenever/wherever. If she doesn't like it, she can leave the room

Answer

What’s the issue? She said she’s envious- it’s not that deep.

Answer

i’d hide and won’t drink infront of her, when being pregnant, i couldn’t take coffee smell and couldn’t drink tea so my husband to have coffee in morning but he never made it in kitchen or infront of even now he don’t cuz i still get sick.

Am i being messed up?

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