Help! Am I pregnant? If so will I miscarry again?

So I got a faint positive? at 8 DPO (2 days ago) tested again yesterday again slightly darker faint positive… but then today it is like the same as the other day maybe a little lighter…. Idk if I am pregnant or not I read the tests within the timeframe lines came up immediately…. Am I pregnant? If so does this mean I’m gonna miscarry again? This would be my third miscarriage I’m so scared idk what to do or if I am even pregnant… my boyfriend keeps saying to stop testing and we will know at some point one way or another but I am the one who has miscarried before, not him, he doesn’t get it… he is trying to be supportive by saying that thinking if I just don’t test then I won’t think about it but it is all I can think about… and i would want to know asap just because if there is anything I can do to keep the baby I need to know… idk… the last miscarriage really fucked with me I am still not really “over it” or if I will ever be…

I have PCOS.. If I am not pregnant then I think I want to try to get scooped out this way I won’t just keep miscarrying… I feel like it is irresponsible on my part… I feel guilty for wanting a baby when I already have 2 that died… i feel guilty for loosing them…

8 DPO ⬆️ I didn’t take a picture of the other tests but is that even a positive? Can the hormones fluctuate a little bit when you are early? Idk… not to jinx it… but if this is a positive I think this is miscarriage #3… I am just… idk what to do BF doesn’t get where I am coming from…

I’ve wanted a baby for so long and I have wanted one with him even more he would be an amazing father it would be an absolute gift…but I just don’t think I am gonna want to go through this… I don’t want to have another miscarriage and if I am not pregnant… if I want to get scooped out my boyfriend will probably leave me… he thinks that is psychotic… and it is…(from where I am coming from not for other people) but I don’t want to keep getting pregnant for them to just die and I think it would be better if I never had to worry about that or the PCOS again…. The PCOS has fucked with my body so bad for so long I am in so much pain and I am so sick all of the time and I am just so done with all of this…