CONSISTANT bad mood after miscarriages

Anyone ever been so irritable, in such a bad mood, for a long time after miscarriages? It’s making even me annoyed with myself!

I’ve had two miscarriages since the spring, now I’m oscillating between wanting to try again to not wanting anything to do with babies or children. I hate that I get resentful when I see the pregnant women on social that I’m friends with. Yet I’m not sure I even want a baby right now myself and there’s a lot of pros right now (especially financial) in regards to waiting. So I’m just constantly angry because I’m feeling emotions on each side. It’s such a frustrating place to be! I’m mad I’ve had to deal with any of these stresses and losses, I’m annoyed with my husband all the time because it’s like we have to have this convo each cycle about what the plan is, and omg I just miss the days sometimes when we weren’t married and this wasn’t even a question.