Absolute worst day at work ever

I’m sorry everyone. I am having what i think to be a more severe “worst day ever” and I don’t know what to do or where to turn to so I am just venting, i’m sorry. I have been crying all day nonstop. Just had the most hurtful things said to me by my partner. Constantly disrespects my nationality, holds my mental illnesses against me and recently I had my first kind of mental episode and my partner today held such a sensitive and vulnerable moment against me. My partner has inflicted trauma onto me in different ways during a situation with their ex…

Long story short, they treated me like garbage and disregarded all of my feelings all so they could “save the friendship” between them and their ex. It was very very traumatic.

Well today, 2 years later, their ex came back again which dug up all of that trauma. My partner treated me as of I didn’t have the right to feel the way i felt and saying such hurtful things to me and at that point after all that trauma has resurfaced I was having such a triggered moment and was going off on my partner and cursing and such and my boss walked in the room….Lord! It was very embarrassing. My boss made this face “😬” and slowly walked in and said “Sorry about that…” How freaking embarrassing is that. I didn’t even know what to say. I work in an office alone and no one else was in the room but that still doesn’t make it better. I know i shouldn’t have gotten so worked up at work, but if you’ve ever reached a severe breaking point, you know how uncontrollable it feels.

I just feel like i’ve been criminalized for being traumatized and acting like how a traumatize person would act and i just reached my breaking point…..at work unfortunately.

Then later on my partner proceeds to tell me the worst thing they could have ever said to me… they said

“You are traumatized because you’re insecure”

this hit me like a brick. if i had the time to fully go into detail what this person has done to me all for the sake of their ex, you guys would be traumatized just by reading it…it’s that bad. and they dare utter those words out of their mouth??

I just feel mentally exhausted, I don’t know what to do. On top of other things like trying to find a new job which feels impossible, dealing with my OCD amongst other things and it’s just all becoming too much.

I guess i’m not really asking a question, I just wanted to vent.

Sorry about the word-vomit everyone. I’m just venting and letting everything on my mind out. If you made it this far, thank you.