I'm 35 weeks tomorrow and I'm still not feeling all that happy or excited about being pregnant and having this baby. My depression has been getting worse and worse since I got pregnant. I'm on meds and seeing a doctor but it doesn't seem to help. I've been trying to make myself excited and I just don't feel it. I don't enjoy feeling him move like most moms. I also don't feel any connection or anything when I see him on the ultrasound. We did a 3D one the other day and I was hoping it'd start to feel more exciting and real and it just doesn't. I haven't felt any emotion at any ultrasound or hearing his heartbeat. I'm not sure I'm even looking forward to his arrival. I'm mostly feeling anxious about not having my alone time anymore. I'm home alone all day while my boyfriend works and I'm so used to it now I can't even stand having company over. I just don't know if I can even do this and be a good mom. Not only do I suffer from depression but I also have borderline personality and it's absolute hell on my mind all the time. I'm scared that I'm going to end up having some kind of psychotic break. Sometimes I wonder if I should just leave him here with my boyfriend and move back to California where my friends and family are.