Am I being selfish?

Question

My in laws are literally almost always at our house (even when we aren’t there— BIL has cookouts and invites his friends and he literally has the key to go inside (thanks husband) ) 😑

My husband literally invited them EVERY vacation we take. We have never went alone. We have 4 kids and we have never took vacation with just our family.

We found out our son was on fall break for 2 weeks and my husband is already talking about going somewhere and already inviting his entire family without asking me.

He says what’s the fun in going with just us? We need to make memories with just our family, that’s it.

I messaged my SIL because I’m kinda over him inviting everyone and she said she understands but it’s good we all get a vacation together.

Am I being selfish for wanting it to be our family only?

For wanting my husband to ask me before he invites his entire family..??

Not to mention I am 6 weeks postpartum and don’t want my baby to be passed around or my MIL to baby wear him 🫠

Answer

Easy tell him that You want to take a family vacation with his main family which is you and your kids nobody else. his family are his secondary family now.you put your foot down an tell him that all the locks are being changed . nobody else besides you an him an the kids are getting the keys.  that more boundaries with his family will be set like them not just coming over in want to They need to call no events at your house unless you guys are throwing it. They're not just allowed to throw a random parties without you knowing.  cannot throw events unless it's prior consented by you an your husband .

Answer

I totally understand your frustration. You need to just tell him that you want a calm family vacay once in a while. You can also (when ur baby is a little older and you feel comfortable leaving the baby with your husband and his family) take personal time when they want to hang out at your house you’ll way oh great, I really needed a girls night out or spa time or whatever and go focus on self care, he will then after a while understand that he has to make an effort to spend quality time with you and that you aren’t just going to always tag along.

Answer

I understand your frustration. However, he’s always been like this. This is him.

Answer

Your husband is the problem here. Deal with him and his lack of boundaries with his family.

Answer

You’ll say*

Am I being selfish?

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