Birthday, death date? What would you call something that you lost but still gave birth too? Today marks 2 years since I felt innocent life flush out of me. Went to the ER on Oct 8th told them I was pregnant and was having black bleeding. They didnt care, told me they werent equiped for OB, and all they could do was draw blood and I would have to call them Mon to find out my results. So I go home very distraught, prop my feet up, lay in bed with heating pad over my sore stomach and force myself to sleep. I wake up during the night, jump up actually. Look to my husband and tell him something isnt right. He calmly tells me lay back down and rest. I say "no, something isnt right". I'm hurting in my lower back, feel like im bout to pee all over myself, so rush to the bathroom, pee. And wouldnt you know it heavier blood. Something in me told me to squat down with my knees into my chest, so I did. And I tell you, ive been thru alot pain with loss, but feeling something that you begged God for, prayed so hard for when your life faith was lost to begin with really rips you apart. I have never felt so much pain in my life when I saw my baby laying there in my clothes. I didnt know what to do except to lay my baby on the towel, and say no over and over again with the most painful feeling in my throat an tears roaring down my face. Two years, two long hard, heart wrentching years have gone by. I will never know what my babies voice, 1st cry, take that baby to school, mend broke heart, be there for my child or watch that baby grow up into an amazing person. But I do know, I am currently 14 weeks and 5 days pregnant, I do know that my first little miracle is watching out for this little one growing inside of me. And this little one will know bout its sibling. And I pray that my baby knows just how much I love her and how hard today has been on me, but i have tried extremly hard to not break down cause I know she is in a better place. I love you my Little Eva Bee so very much!!