i just had a medical abortion about two days ago- i was 9 weeks pregnant. i found out at around 6 weeks and knew i had to have an abortion as i’m not financially prepared to have a child, and my boyfriend and i have only been seeing each other about five months. the process was really hard, the cramps were terrible and came with a lot of shaking and shivering, and diarrhea, but fortunately the worst part of it only lasted about an hour or two and it was done about four hours after i took the pills. still bleeding pretty heavily 2 days later and my morning sickness is finally gone so i’m taking that as a sign that it was successful.

the thing that’s getting to me is that i’ve always wanted to be pregnant and dreamed of having a baby since i was a little kid. it feels like a lifelong dream was taken away from me by capitalism. i’m mourning my potential child and just sad about the state of the world, where someone like me who wants a baby doesn’t feel like they can have one because it’s too expensive.

i know that i want to have babies in a few years when i’m ready, and that this abortion was the right choice, but i’m grieving anyway and just wanted to share because i feel really isolated in this grief. my boyfriend has been repressing his feelings trying to be strong for me which i definitely needed the past few days but what i really want now is for him to just cry with me.