Connected

I.dony.feel.connected with my baby. Shes only 5 week and 2 days old. Im alone with my kids all the time(i.have 2.older kids, 12 and 5). I feel like its hard for me to talk to anyone. If i do, it feels like they thinking.i shouldnt even have kids. One time someone did tell.me i shouldnt open my legs and have more kids if i didnt want them. :( and my parenter or ex. Idk its complicated. Is in jail and idk when hes coming out. Says the baby isnt his. Idk thevlist just keeps going on. :( i was wondering if anyone else feel like they arent connected with there little one. I just want to be happy and love my kids. But how can I when its hard for me to live myself. Maybe im.the issue.... i just want to connect with my baby.