So I am 27 years old I have always believed there was a god I did not know much about it all I it I got with my now husband about 11 years ago his mom and family are Christian’s my immediate family never went to church or talk about religion much my dads mom was always going to church she would take us but I really don’t remember much of it I had a sort of difficult short life before I met my now husband I was moving everywhere it wasn’t good I moved in with my husband at 15years old 2months into our relationship that’s another story for another time anyway….I really want to get baptized but I don’t feel bad I am ready I pray but I always feel like I am talking to myself I talk to god as if he is here in my room but I feel no way like I talk to myself when I do go to church which is not all the time but I do go on Sundays here and there during worship I want to cry but i hold it in sometimes in my car when I’m alone I put my worship music on and just cry I don’t know why I listen to Air 1 Christian station everyday I love it I want to be fully committed to god and Jesus I just don’t know how I want to go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays and be involved but we have 4 boys all in sports and they love church I always tell them what I do know about god and they go to church every Sunday with my husbands mom I tell them to pray when they are happy/sad scared nervous and to always talk to god I want them to be close to god I don’t want them to struggle like me I am scared they say people get there faith in our lord when something tragic happens and I am so scared of something bad happening to my boys or husband I am so terrified I am little crying right now typing this SOMONE PLEASE just tell em what to do where to start I don’t want to devil to come for my family for me to get faith…… SORRY FOR THE TERRIBLE GRAMMAR AND Punctuation AND Everything thank YOU FOR READING IF YOU GOT THIS FAR 💖💙💙💙💙💙