How can I deal with judgemental family members this holiday season?

Question

Yesterday on Thanksgiving, my "family members" were judging my relationship status ever since I ended things with my boyfriend. They were kinda slut shaming me and nasty to me ever since my relationship in 2019 that was serious ended. They kept saying "that was a mistake" and had an attitude towards me when I left. Why won't they stop judging my relationship choices ever since 2019. Why don't they accept me. I am in a traditional family. Why would they judge a sweet innocent girl who did no wrong? They never treated me this way before 2019.

Answer

Just bc someone maybe family doesn’t mean they’re entitled to the “family” status, if you can catch what I’m saying. Whenever I’ve encountered nasty family members, I distance myself away from them. They are not entitled to your time or presence. If someone or something keeps making you feel uncomfortable, why choose to continue to go around it and put yourself in that situation to be made to feel uncomfortable?

Answer

Who knows why they treat you that way. It's futile to even try to understand their thought process. But there are things you can do to help yourself out with this. One thing you can do is stop giving them information about your relationship status. Another thing you can do is create boundaries by saying something like, "I prefer not to discuss this topic, hear your opinions on this topic, or receive unsolicited advice on the topic. I feel judged when you do that. If it continues, I will leave." Saying something like that will give them a chance to correct their behavior and possibly repair things with you. But of course you don't have to go to any family function where you feel judged and treated badly and they are unwilling to change their behavior toward you. ￼

Answer

I just wouldn't deal with it. Stop going. What they're doing is not ok. Don't continue to allow them your time.

Answer

I wouldnt waste my time with  people like that. Do you have to go?

How can I deal with judgemental family members this holiday season?

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