Am I awful?

Question

I had a miscarriage over 8months ago, at first I was really okay and was genuinely happy for others around me getting pregnant. Now it’s closer to due dates and my heart is broken, I lost my baby and they would have been here so soon, my heart aches and I’m so lost. And now I just found out my best friend is pregnant and my baby would have been born 01/28/24, I didn’t get to learn the gender hear a heart beat or have anything to aide with closure, I want nothing but to be happy for her but my heat feels like it’s crumbling.

Answer

Definitely was depressed and had almost a jealous rage at anyone trying or announcing their pregnancies after having 3 chemicals and 2 miscarriages over 5 years. It was very hard but Im grateful I didnt want to know my due dates and quickly plugged into the app that I was grieving after a loss so the buildup to the expected birthdate wasnt there for me. I did go out and find 3 angel statues that I placed on a shelf that looked gorgeous in the morning light and knowing that I have my missed babies waiting patiently on the otherside for their father and I really helped me get through it. Also knowing that they will be there to guide their siblings through life. I want to say it gets easier but even as Im pregnant with my second child to be born( who's a rainbow baby of course) I still have hard days and mourn them quite often. Could one of them been the boy I always dreamed of having? maybe but it does get better.

Answer

No. I literally despised every pregnant woman i saw for nearly 2 years

Answer

Super normal. I’ve had many MCs and 2 were timed around when 2 other friends became pregnant. I always look at their kids now and know how old our babies would have been. It’s normal ppl just don’t talk about it!

Am I awful?

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