Would you be upset if your boyfriend said he was “starting to warm up” to a guy at his work who is sexist, talks deragatory about women, and says women are stupid?

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It depends. Does he mean he's starting to become influenced by this man's opinions? Or does he mean that outside of those opinions, he's someone he's able to work with now? If it's the latter, I would be fine with it. As we don't have to like the views and opinions of everyone we work with. If he was beginning to agree with his views, yes, I would be upset and that's not someone I would want to be with. ￼

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I always try to understand why people say and do the things they do (without excusing or agreeing with their behavior). Both my husband and I have family members and friends who say hateful things about our religion (Islam), but we give them grace by understanding that they’re just scared (people tend to fear what they don’t know about) and were only taught propaganda. We don’t agree or condone their views, but we can understand why it’s their views. My husband has friends who even converted to the religion after my husband taught them about it. So when your boyfriend said he’s “warming up” to his coworker, it could just be he’s getting to know and understand him or has a soft spot for him but not that he agrees with him.