Just found out and I’m terrified

December

Back story, in 2013 I naturally conceived twins with my ex husband. We got together young and married young after we had our first daughter. She was almost 2 years old when I found out I was pregnant again. And then found out it was twins shortly after at about 11 weeks. By 14 weeks I was in the ER half the night and found out I lost them. My ex husband unfortunately turned into a monster and had been rather abusive. Mostly verbally. Emotionally. But had shoved me around a few times. Could that be the cause of losing my twins? I’ll never know from what the drs say. Fast forward to now, my now love of my life and I found out we were pregnant a few months ago with our first child together after 3 years of being together. We did not plan it but we were very excited to grow our family regardless. Last Tuesday, knowing I was about 11 weeks and excited to see baby, we ended up seeing two babies 😮 and naturally my dr was excited. My husband is over the moon. And I CAN NOT get my anxiety down for nothing. I’m terrified. I had 3 children with my ex husband before growing up enough to realize he was never going to be better for me and our kids. But I lost the twins. And that was so hard. What if I lose these twins too? I know that’s the worst way to look at it. I want to be excited. When I lost my twins in 2013 I thought for sure that was a once in a life time chance that I lost. I never thought I’d conceive twins again!!!! I’m scared to pick up a laundry basket. Because maybe it’s to heavy? Or spend more then an hour or 2 doing the weekly shopping. Because maybe I’ve been on my feet to long and I’m over doing it? I don’t want to live in fear but I do not want to lose these babies 😭 I want to enjoy this time being pregnant with them!!!! But I’m so scared.