How would you talk to your husband about this?

Lately, I’ve been feeling very distant from my husband, kind of like my feelings for him are starting to slowly fade away. We have had a bunch of arguments in our marriage (some big some not) but the one thing I feel mostly torn about, is how he manages anger.

He’s admitted to me that he has anger issues, so any little thing, can start a big fight. If I ask a harmless question, he takes it wrong and *boom* fight. If I calmly AND nicely tell him how something hurt my feelings *boom* fight. It gets very tiring and most of all, hurts really bad. We’ve had multiple talks about this and he told me he would work on it. I truly think he has because it doesn’t happen as often as it used to.

Last night, he took an appliance out the cabinet that’s broken. It’s been broke for weeks and he keeps trying to fix it. I told him “I don’t think it’s going to fix or work” as casual as could be and he BLEW up. He raised his voice at me and told me to stop and that all im doing is discouraging him. I apologized and said I didn’t mean it that way but it is broken, that’s all. He then started getting more angry, saying he spent $300 on this appliance and if he wants to try to fix/clean it, he will. I got teary eyed and told him I was sorry.

I really didn’t mean it in a malicious way.

So afterwards, we are laying down in bed and he asked me to scratch his back, usually I happily do it, but I didn’t want to at all. I didn’t even want to kiss. I’ve been like this for weeks. He’s even starting to look different (less attractive) to me. I don’t want this to happen. I feel so bad.