Time has passed since my marriage ended, we were young and it was very toxic. Constant cheating, verbal abuse, catching women with my husband, him just laughing at me and cussing me out. Somehow and for some odd reason, I could never hate him although recently those memories have been on replay in my head.

I thought I had healed, I moved on and found a great man with a baby on the way. These emotions began when I got pregnant. I’m not sure what’s going on but I get constant flashbacks of the things my ex used to say to me, grabbing me and shoving me when I would catch him lying or with another woman. I don’t understand why. The person I’m with now is the complete opposite, he’s kind and gentle etc.

I’m going to search for a therapist. It just feels like I’m experiencing my divorce all over again. I can’t figure out why and I’ve communicated to my partner but it also feels wrong to feel this way after moving on and starting a family?

My friends say it’s trauma and hormones but I’m not sure.

How did you guys heal from toxic relationships? I think part of it is I was always seen as the villain for catching him, it was always my fault somehow and I know I shouldn’t need it or wonder but sometimes I hope for an apology one day or I wonder if he ever feels bad.