Roller coaster of emotion

Ja

My period was late by a couple days so i took a test. It came back positive. I was so happy. Few days later i had brown bleeding/ discharge. Was not worried at that point. Called my OB and they made an appointment for me for the following month. The next day I noticed more blood and thought i was miscarrying. I cancelled the OB appointment. My OB ordered some blood test. I had HCG and Progesterone drawn. The results: HCG 40 and Progesterone was 5.7. HCG redrawn 2 days later and it was at 142. HCG redrawn again yesterday and it was around 386. And this whole time i am still bleeding. Its about 1/2 a pad worth every 24 hours but the nurse told me they are concerned its ectopic. No other note worthy symptoms. But i dont know how to feel at this point. I want this baby but how do you bond when you feel like you are going to lose it. But how can you not bond ? Getting an ultrasound Monday but that seems so far away when you want to know. I dont know how anyone could deal with this back and forth long term...crying off and on knowing this little being inside me may not make it has been devestating. My heart goes out all those that have been ttc and having difficulties and everyone who has lost a pregnancy.