Is it possible for a man to get divorced twice and both be the woman's fault?

Question

I've been seeing this guy. It's been a month and we aren't officially or anything. I knew he had been divorced twice which he's not even 30 yet so I thought that was strange. I asked about his ex-wives and he kind of nervously laughed and just said he chose wrong twice. I asked what was wrong and he confessed he used to date way older and he knows now that it was due to his mommy issues but his first wife he said was actually his foster mom's sister! He was 16 and she was 27 when they started dating which is legal here for some odd reason. As long as you are 16 you can date and have sex with however old you are. He ended up getting kicked out of his foster home for it and he moved in with her. They got married at 18 and 30 and divorced a year later because she was crazy. He met someone when he had just turned 21 and she was 43 and they got married a year later and then divorced after 2 year. I'm actually the only woman he's been with that was his age. And he showed me pictures of his ex wife and they are clearly much older. The one with his first wife just made me uncomfortable because he clearly looks like a child. I'm 27 and would never. All he said about his second wife is she was very financially abusive. I can believe the first wife story because honestly regardless she had no business being with a minor. With the second wife he wasn't a minor though and yes 43 and 21 is a weird age gap but is it possible he's just using her age so he can say he didn't do anything wrong. I'm a daughter of a mother who was married 6x and if there is something I've learned it's that if you have multiple divorced it's probably you. Just I've never been married. I'm not sure if anyone here has had multiple divorces and if so would you say you were at fault or you just chose wrong twice? Is it possible to marry wrong twice.
@Rachel I get that. I just don't understand how someone can fuck up twice. I just would assume when someone puts you through something bad wouldn't you be extra alert on red flags? I have dated a jerk before and I do everything in my power to never date someone like him again.

Answer

He was groomed, abused and whatever else he went through. I would believe him.

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He grew up in foster care, married a predator that took advantage of him and then he married someone over twice his age. I would believe him.

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In his rare case, give him the benefit of the doubt. He was abused most of his life. Let him show you the real him, maybe make sure to take things slow. Marriage might be in the future, but it sounds like these older woman used it to gain power over him.

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He was groomed & it was due to his trauma or as he put it his “mommy issues.” If you can’t understand that then you shouldn’t be with him.

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Run!!! 🏃‍♀️

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Good for you that you do your best to not date the same kind of people. Literally, I’m happy for your dating experiences. 
But that is not everyone and it’s extremely common to repeat patterns of behaviors when you have past trauma … which it seems like he has opened up about.
It is good to be self-aware and self-reflective, of course. That’s what we should all be and hopefully we learn. It sounds like he is starting to learn and date his age, and be aware of his childhood traumas to make better romantic choices.
But yes it is entirely possible that both divorces be the fault of someone else.
Both of my marriages with abusive, which wasn’t my fault. I didn’t choose to be abused. Did I have a lot of therapy and realize I definitely had a pattern of choosing a certain kind of person? Yes. But I also have had a lot of trauma and had to literally change my brain and actively address those things. 
Narcissistic abuse also does a huge number on people. It’s debilitating. My ex-husband was all the abuse. My ex-wife was all the emotional and financial abuse, then started in on the physical stuff. Both of my divorces were not a “my fault” kind of thing. It was definitely them. 
But if it’s a red flag that he has had too many divorces because of your experiences with your mom, then cut it off now!

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I have to reply to your comment to the one lady…. Most people who aren’t good people, hide those red flags. And when someone has been through hard things, it’s not always easy to see red flags. Or some red flags you assume are good, like love bombing. When you are in it, it might not seem like love bombing. I’m sorry but you act like it’s easy to spot these type of people and it’s not. They are good at hiding and manipulating things and when someone is already broken it’s so much easier. You also can’t assume how you would do anything if you were in someone else’s position. You haven’t lived every moment he has, your brain could have become damaged in another way. Trauma affect everyone differently.

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Poor fellow, doesn't sound like any of it is his fault.

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I have a friend with multiple ex husbands and she was not the problem.  I also have a friend who has multiple ex wives and he isn't the problem either. That's not saying that this guy isn't the problem just that it's possible for it to not be the person with multiple marriages that have failed fault.

Answer

He was abused, used, manipulated, and groomed. It’s very easy to be have multiple bad marriages. My mother was married multiple times and the men filed for divorce because she’s a narcissist. It happens.

Is it possible for a man to get divorced twice and both be the woman's fault?

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