I tend to take on more than I should.

We just moved to a new province back in 2021 so I don’t have many friends over here and my family is in the process of moving closer to us. Well I decided to throw my own baby shower because like I said not many friends and no one was offering in the family I have out here.

When talking with family/friends back home all of them said don’t do Dec/jan as that won’t work for them. So I put it end of Feb so people had a bit of cushion after Xmas if they wanted to come they could.

I go and get a venue that could fit us all and sent the invites WELL in advance and as of right now the only people coming are myself, husband, his mom and my family that’s moving. My sister pointed out I picked a holiday weekend. I’m so incredibly upset. I can’t get the money back from the venue. - thankfully it wasn’t a lot but in this economy it did some damage that could have been put towards some more furniture we need. Every person that has responded has said no.

My mom then tells me two people back home think I should do a virtual baby shower for the people who can’t come. And I’m like cool well I’m planning one here. I don’t want to have 30 people on a camera watching me open gifts and no one talk. Also… doing the best I can at planning an in person event. God forbid I do a virtual and everyone says no to that too. Stress I don’t need.

Then my husband tells me we’re not doing Christmas gifts this year because money is tight. And I get it. I’m not asking for a Tiffany ring or anything extravagant but something small to open on Christmas together would be nice as it’s our last Christmas just us. We also didn’t do anniversary gifts this year (Oct) because we got a bunch of new appliances for our place.

We are well off in the sense of there is a roof over our head, heat in our home, some food in the fridge. But I just feel upset that the little things I want seem like I’m asking for so much.

We never had a proper wedding, we eloped so we could save the money for a down payment. I wanted to do a gender reveal but no one wanted to help me plan it and we had some family drama over it so I just went fuck it, we aren’t doing it.

Wanted a special last Christmas and get told no.

Tried planning a baby shower and everyone is saying no.

I’m just fucking over all this bullshit.