This may be spotty here and there and for that I apologize. I just can’t really vent to anyone. Today I found out that an ex boyfriend of mine passed away last week and was buried today. It’s strange because no one knew, no obituary or anything. Someone said he was in a car accident sometime before thanksgiving and had been laid up in the hospital ever since, developed a blood clot and died last week. It’s just very bizarre that nobody can find out anything regarding a wreck. Or his death. However someone said they were burying him this morning. Now when I say ex, I mean…it’s been a LONG time. I’m 35, we dated when I was 13-19. I was with him a good chunk of time. He was my first everything. I’m not sure what’s bothering me more, the fact that it seems so hush hush, that I’m not able to say a traditional goodbye… I’m happily married with children now but something about this news hit me very hard and I can’t even rest. He tried to randomly add me on social media in the summer after no contact all these years. No I didn’t add. I will also say it bothers me because I know back then he did not believe in God and to me that was a big part of my life and still is. My heart just breaks tonight. Not sure how to navigate this. None of his family members are on social media either it’s so so strange. :(