Abuse and I need to really leave but I love him

This man I married is the absolute worst and I blame myself! I allowed it to keep happening over the years to the point he doesn’t take me serious or respect me at all when I mention his abuse. He will use me being upset as a reason why or me being angry over something as a reason why he put his hands on me or my stuff. He says things like he will fuck up anyone who fucks with him . I said well not me or my 18 year old daughter !! He still feels so cold and like he’s not the problem! He somehow thinks it’s ok to hit a women no matter what! The other day he snatched my phone and shattered it and ran off with my phone because he said I was “ talking my shit” when he was leaving my house . I have cameras outside to make sure he doesn’t damage my car “again” ..so if I talk my shit as he says he gets so angry that it’s physical. And if we avoid me talking. Shit then things like that won’t happen?!!! Like wtf!!! I’m not dealing with anymore years of my life! I don’t want an angry man anymore!!! He can fight the world just not me and mines!!