My 3 year old daughter is a challenge every single day. I love her with all my heart, of course, but she has become so defiant and mean and I just need to know if other people have experienced this with their toddlers and if they have grown out of it or if it ended up being a behavioral thing or something else.

I got the Big Little Feelings course and I try to do gentle parenting. I've taken Dialectical Behavior Therapy for myself and use several of those skills in parenting. So far nothing helps. She very seldom listens to me or her dad. Just today I told her to stay near me in our driveway because a truck was coming down the street and she ran off towards it (not in the street, but near it) laughing like crazy, thinking it was hilarious as I panicked. She gets incredibly angry at us and hits, kicks, bites, head butts. That has been going on at least a year and nothing we have done has helped that to stop. She tells us she hates us and we're bad parents daily, whenever we hold boundaries. I do home preschool with her and we had wanted to continue with home TK next year but I don't think I can do it. When I mention to my husband that I want to look at some schools for TK he gets annoyed because he doesn't want her in public school, but I don't think my mental health and my relationship with my daughter can withstand continuing.

Developmentally, she is way ahead. She is incredibly bright. She is very social and will talk to everyone. What is really wild to me is that she can also be the most loving, sweet child you've ever met. We see both sides every single day, but lately we see the mean, violent, angry side way more often.

Tonight I just shut down and couldn't take it, and I found a child behaviorist and I already contacted them. We are going to take her. It's disrupting our family and we need help. But I'd really like to hear from other parents: has anyone experienced anything like this? Is your child on the spectrum? Have you gotten help or do you have any advice?

Thanks!