I am posting anon as I am embarrassed

I feel really sad. I had to have an emergency c- section at 35+2 as I had a surgical emergency (ovarian torsion). They took my baby girl out asap and I ended up losing my ovary which was dead and black.

Baby girl was in NICU for 6 days and since discharge on boxing day, has been back in twice with severe jaundice. Good news is we are turning a corner and she is doing really well now

Thing is , i feel so sad. I know I am ridiculous as I have a healthy baby and Had they not operated I and she would have been in danger but I feel like I should still be pregnant. This is our last baby and I don’t feel like I had a chance to say goodbye to the pregnancy or enjoy the bit of mat leave before bubba arrived. I didn’t get to nest or labour again and I feel like I was robbed. I had planned to do so many things with my toddler before bubba arrived but didn’t get to do any.

Is this normal? Is it just hormones? I have tried to explain how I feel to my husband and friends / family but I don’t think they get it. I am not sure id this will pass or if I should be worried