My mom was very generous to us my first pregnancy and got us a bassinet. We had already gone back and forth with cosleeping (my husband and I , not her ) but any time I told her we didn’t need one, she insisted she would get us a bassinet and cosleeping was dangerous. My husband is not from here and he was raised the opposite. She got it even though I told her it wasn’t necessary and the moment the baby was born, she began asking if we had been using it. I lied and said we had but really anytime i tried putting him in there I felt anxiety and just felt better having him next to us. Sometimes my conversation with her, would start with “How’s the bassinet working?” Not even a smidge of effort asking how the baby was or how I was feeling until she got that out of the way. Flash forward, with our second baby I really was trying to use this bassinet. Replaced the mattress and tried for a good month. I couldn’t do it. He was an emergency c section baby and my anxiety couldn’t handle it. It’s a bulky bassinet and so we put it in storage. My husband ended up donating it to the shelter up the road along with other baby things we had that were no use to us.

Well now I’m pregnant with my third - my mom asked if we were going to use the bassinet. I’m already annoyed because why do you have to keep up with it 6 years later. I told her we had donated it and she made me feel so guilty that she spent all this money as she put it for something that we just donated. After two babies mind you. My husband got angry and told her we’d just send the value of it if she was so worried about it, telling her it was unnecessary stress even asking about it. (My C-section was stress related - we had a major tragedy happen in our home involving a flood - so my husband gets anxious/angry towards whoever when I’m under stress)

She always does this and it’s to the point where I just don’t want anything from her. For Christmas five years ago she got me this blender and asked where it was the last time she was over. It stopped working and that made her angry. I get it was a nice gesture but an unnecessary one and I feel like even today, she tries to control me through these things. She’s constantly asking my sons if they still use the toys she got them from last birthday or Christmas etc. I’m ready to just cut ties at this point bc I feel like it’s so toxic her acting that way. I tell her all the time, we don’t need anything but she insists and buys it anyways. Idk how to even approach this. Rant over 🤦🏻‍♀️