Do you make your child share toys with younger sibling?

Question

My daughters tries to hide her toys but her little sister gets them and they’re always fighting over it. I tell her then your little sister doesn’t have to share her toys with you. I am at my end point. My 1.5 year old is always crying and screaming. My 7 year old is always snatching wit or its tug of war. What should I do. Multiple times a day I cannot deal anymore. She already has A LOT put up her little sister can’t get. I don’t have anymore space for her to HIDE anything else.

Answer

If your older daughter has actual toys she doesn’t want getting destroyed, she can keep those up, otherwise, I think it’s time they start learning how to share. My dad established when my brother and I were kids that we each had “special” toys that the other one wasn’t allowed to play with. For me, this was stuffed animals that were special to me that I didn’t let anyone play with so they stayed in a special place. But other toys that we didn’t play with as much or weren’t as special were fair game.

Answer

Our kids have their special toys that are theirs and theirs alone and they can share if they want but are 100% allowed to politely say no to sharing. The rest are house toys and more often then not expected to share but within reason. If my youngest wants something my oldest is playing with but to use it for a totally different game then they wait until their sibling is done playing and take their turn. If they are just wanting to play then they take turns or play together unless one tells.us they are gonna go play alone. They are allowed their personal and private space. When our youngest tries to grab the rule is the older lets it go so no tug of war or potential injury and a adult helps. If we all can't come to some sort of agreement or plan I just say no to that toy and they can choose another. So in our house depends on the toy and situation how we handle it. But the always expectations are polite and manners. Ask to play or politely decline...no grabbing/yelling/taking/or just expecting to get their way.

Answer

I don’t blame your 7 year old. Id be annoyed if a sibling was constantly taking my toys too. Set some toys aside for your youngest and teach her not to take her sisters toys. Explain to your oldest that her sister doesn’t understand sharing yet.

Answer

I encourage my kids to share but if there is a toy that my older daughter doesn’t want her sister to play with I tell her to go get her sister a toy to play with and they can switch .

Answer

When i was a kid, if we fought over toys, my mom threw them away so we never fought over toys… 
I think my sisters and i worked out our own sharing system—like xyz are communal toys that we have to take turns but abc BELONG to that one person and cant be taken without explicit permission.

Answer

I do make them share but they are closer in age so all their toys are shared. I usually facilitate taking turns.
In the preschool student/parent playgroup my son attended, the younger ones (under 2) always wanted to play with whatever the older (4 and up) kids were playing with. The teachers didn't allow grabbing without asking.  They would have the younger one ask (or ask on their behalf) and teach the older child to pick one of their toys to give it to the younger one to hold. Often that amount of participation was enough to please the younger one and it allowed the older child some control. 
For example:
Teacher with young Ben who is trying to grab toy dinosaurs from older Nikki.  "Ben, we don't grab toys.  If you want to play with something you have to use words to ask first."
 
The teacher models the desired behavior to Ben by asking Nikki.  "Hey, Ben really wants to play with dinosaurs too. Which one can he play with? Can you pick one you think he might like?" 
The teacher requires Nikki to share, but lets her pick what to share. This also teaches Ben that he gets what he wants when he asks nicely. She'd then model showing appreciation by thanking Nikki for her kindness.

Answer

Have you worked with your 7 year old on sharing?

Answer

There are VERY few toys in my home that aren't communal toys. Less than 10. My children don't have to share those. They don't have to share at all, but they do need to take turns with communal toys if they can't play nicely together.

Do you make your child share toys with younger sibling?

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