Is this appropriate?

Question

I told my boyfriend of 5 months we need to take a step back in our relationship due to the fact he was prioritizing me and our relationship over everything in his life I was being put on a pedestal and I didn’t like that. Plus, he isn’t working and financially dependent off his mom….

So I told him

I want to step back in this relationship….

He said what? What’s that mean???

I said Think of it as pausing the relationship, like you do with a video game. Putting a pin it. You can’t prioritize me, you need to take this time to focus on your relationships with those you’ve stuck on the back burner. I think it’s important you start prioritizing yourself, relationships and potentially working. This is not fair to those who matter and it’s not fair to me to put me on a pedestal.

he started asking questions

Well can I call you babe?

Can I say I love you?? Will you say it back??

Can we talk every single day??

What’re you doing??

Sending me cat memes

I wanna fight you so bad on this! But I know I’ll push you away

Will this suck for you as much as it does me?

Idk what to do without you!!!!!!!

I love you so much!

I’ll say this, I hope this pause is over by valentines Day.

Sending me pics of his cats

I feel this is being too dependent on me and inappropriate to be so demanding when I asked for a step back so he can reassess his life, his values, and relationships.

Is this inappropriate to be messaging me like this??

Answer

Just a heads up, your title and the last question are different so your poll results may be skewed.

Answer

I’ve been in a relationship like this and I will say I got out of it. I just couldn’t have someone so dependent. Like you are supposed to be a team if you’re a serious relationship. It seems like you did the best thing for you, maybe this will give you some perspective!

Answer

A pause or break means no contact. Working on yourself and hopefully coming back as a better you. Grown. Changed and improved. Meaning him. Growing up. Getting a job. So you don’t have to carry the relationship financially or emotionally or physically. Otherwise it’s just draining on you. And not fair to you. He has a lot of growing up to you. Being clingy and not being able to give you your space even during a break speaks volumes. He’s dependent on his parents and you and not growing as a person. Usually when relationships come to the point of needing a break, is usually just delaying the inevitable, of a break up. Sounds like you are more mature and have goals and want to better your life and he is fine living in his mom’s basement playing video games all day and doing nothing to improve his life. You are all he’s got to get out of her house. Let this be a wake up call. You deserve better. You deserve someone that’s on your level.

Answer

I see nothing wrong with how he’s acting, it seems like he really love’s you & wants to be with you

Answer

He is smothering you. He needs other things to occupy his time other than this relationship. Unfortunately based on this, I doubt he will do that during this “pause.” Is there a reason he doesn’t work? Is he looking for a job—this should probably be his focus if he’s not in school. How old are you two?

Answer

Tell him to start sending you pictures of job applications.
He needs to learn to be independent and mature more.

Is this appropriate?

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