Going to try to keep this short. So the day after Christmas I found a video in my “boyfriend’s” work phone (I hate to even call him that now). It was a video of him and some girl having sex. His face wasn’t in the video because he was the one recording but I know what he looks like down there and I know what he sounds like. Also in the video I could clearly see everything in the background, which was in his room at his old apartment before we moved in together. So I know it’s him! And it was dated November 2nd so he’d obviously been cheating. So on the night I saw the video he left to go out. I text him while he was out telling him that I saw the video and told him I was done with him. He responded by laughing and telling me it wasn’t him, saying I was overreacting, I’m crazy, I’m stupid etc etc. just gaslighting me. I said no I’m not crazy that’s you and I’m leaving. He said ok “be ready to fight when I get home”. And that’s exactly what happened when he got home a couple minutes later. He came in grabbed me and pulled his gun out and pointed it at my stomach (I’m 37 weeks pregnant). He said he would kill all of us before he let me leave. Then he dragged me down the hall into the bedroom and locked the door. Proceeded to put me in a chokehold while punching and biting me all over my back and arms. Idk how long this went on for but when he finally let my up I ran out of the house and called the police. They ended up charging him with abduction by force/ intimidation, assault on a family member, and possession of a weapon by a felon.

Now here’s where I did the stupidest thing I could’ve done. He was scheduled for a bond hearing 3 weeks after his arrest (at the first one he was denied). His mom and other family members were constantly calling and texting me begging me to go to the next bond hearing and retract my statement. It was borderline harassment seriously. One of his cousins even went as far to say “if he goes down for this what do you think will happen to you? It’s in YOUR best interest to make sure he gets out”. So I did just that. I went to the hearing and recanted my statement and they let him out. One of the conditions of his bond was for him to not come to the house that we share and to have no contact with me. But he’s been here everyday. And he hasn’t changed at all. He hasn’t hit me but he’s got in my face several times yelling and threatening me. Blaming me for calling the police. Saying he’ll go on the run or kill us both before he ever goes back to jail.

I’m scared but I feel like I’m out of options. It’s looking like the charges will be dropped and that’s my fault. I did manage to get a short video of him pointing his gun at me and threatening to shoot me. But at this point I don’t want to be charged with perjury if I come forward with that as evidence? I feel horrible for wanting him to go to jail but he deserves to be there for not only threatening me but my unborn child. Idk if it’s too late to reach out to a domestic violence agency for help. Will they even help me since I lied for him at his bond hearing? I need help. Advice. Anything. I really don’t know what to do.

Edit to add: I don’t have the best relationship with my family right now. Especially my mom. She loves to be the first one to say “I told you so”. I stopped turning to them for support a while ago. My best friend and I lost touch for a couple months because she felt like I was choosing him over her (I wasn’t intentionally but I can understand why she would feel that way). We recently made amends and she’s aware of everything that’s going on. She offered for me to stay with her until I figure things out, which I would love. However she has 2 small kids and he knows where she lives. He’s already tried to kick down her door once before and I would hate to bring my mess to her home again especially with her kids there ☹️

Edit #2: @Lydia calling me an idiot was very harsh and unnecessary. I’m sorry I don’t live a perfect life like you. And for your information I was in the middle of packing a bag when he came in the house which was literally less than 5 minutes after he sent that text. I wasn’t just waiting around for him to show up.

Anyways for anyone else that genuinely cares, I worked with the prosecutor on the case to have his bond revoked. He then went on the run like he said he would and missed 2 court hearings. As of yesterday 02/03 he was found and arrested.