My husband sometimes blames me

My husband said I provoke him to make him put his hands on me and get violent. I try not to raise my voice and yell but no matter what I do or say he will feel that I am disrespecting him or being aggressive. He told me that he will put hands on a woman or a man for coming at him aggressive but I don’t feel like I do. I’m scared to bring up certain conversations that may bother me because he will get defensive and irritated . I just don’t know what to do and I am tired of feeling I am the problem for him physically causing me harm .