Why won’t he marry me after all these years?

Question

I’m about ready to pull my hair out. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 8 years. We have been engaged for 5 years. Every single year that we’ve been together, we will talk about planning a wedding for that year, and then he backs out! He’s constantly telling me that he wants me to be his wife but he backs out every time we start to move forward with planning! I am so fucking hurt over this. It’s affecting me in more ways than one..We live together, help raise each others children, we both work and we have a dog. We have an amazing sex life, and take good care of each other, why would he make me believe marriage was something he wanted from me, propose to me and then never marry me? I am knocking on 40…We’ve had multiple conversations about this and he tells me he wants to marry me and that he loves me and can’t imagine life without me..if this is true why won’t he marry me???

Answer

I can’t tell you what to do, but part of the reality is you’re allowing it. If someone asked me to marry them & then kept backing out, I would put my foot down & probably end the relationship. He’s not being honest with you, for whatever reason. And if he can’t communicate why that is, that’s a problem. You don’t deserve to be lied to, and you shouldn’t keep falling for it if he has shown you time after time again, it’s not going to happen.

Answer

Because it is a requirement of yours not his. He gave you the ring to shut you up. At least he hoped it would have. Let’s just be honest. It’s easier to walk away from a relationship and kids than it is a messy divorce. He has no desire to get married. You do. He’s got the control. He’s got the upper hand. He can deny you what you want. Things are comfortable why rock the boat. Why add complications by getting married.  If it was something he wanted, it would have happened ages ago. He’s got the relationship without the commitment technically. You are holding your breath waiting on something that may never happen. He’s hoping what you have is enough. Which is why he doesn’t want to get married. Give him and shit or get off the pot. We get married on ___ or i am done.

Answer

If u can afford it.. then i don't see what the issue is.. it's been far too long to wait and i would of ended it long time ago because i was not having kids before marriage.. that's my preference.. it dm if u are not having a baby with u.. u already have a family.. there should be commitment.

Answer

Plan it. If he backs out, then that's him letting you know that he never planned to marry you.

Answer

What the reason he’s giving? Do you want something elaborate or JP fine?
If you can do something small, tell him not ask. “Next Tuesday let’s get married!” And see his reaction. My friends met a JP midday at a beautiful location and their friends and family (like 20 people) took the day off. It was perfect

Answer

Put your foot down sweetie, you're the one who's entertaining his nonsense and letting him take you for a ride.

Answer

Seems like you two have a great relationship but if marriage (something so overrated bc if u really truly love each other, a piece of paper shouldn’t be the end of the world ) is what or feels like it’s holding u back (weird considering if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it ) then leave. 
Best of luck.

Why won’t he marry me after all these years?

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