hi, i’m 22 and i recently started to notice some of my habits. i lived for a few years with someone who i am not longer with due to domestic violence and along with him, i lived with his family as well. i was pretty much secluded to the bedroom because his family spoke a different language and it felt awkward to go out of the bedroom because of the major language barrier. i’m pretty shy too.

because of this, i wasn’t too comfortable cooking in the kitchen because technically it wasn’t my own if that makes sense. this resulted in me sometimes waiting almost an entire days length of not eating or just long periods—mostly to wait for no one to be home or for my ex to be home. my problem was never with refusing to eat or being repulsed by food, but just those aspects.

now that i live back at home with my family and got out of that situation, i have full access to my own kitchen. all the food i could want, anything i want to cook. problem is, i still have this problem. it’s not that i’m afraid anymore to go into the kitchen, but i think my mind has trained my stomach to ignore the signs i’m feeling hungry.

i know this isn’t a battle of my mental state because i love food and have no problems with my body image. but i’m not sure why i’m able to sustain such long periods while knowingly feeling the urge to eat and just….not eating? it feels like i can put it off for a later time and then the later times comes and then a later times comes and then….

i’ve found myself to be the same way with going to the bathroom. same story applies with this one as before, sometimes i know i have to go pee but i just…don’t go pee? i literally do not have this problem in any other area. i still take great care of myself in every other area. i shower 1-2 times a day, brush my teeth after every meal, get fresh air, drink plenty of water, work out regularly, read often—things that could be sign of mental decline if i were to not be taking good care of myself.

i have struggled with bipolar depression in the past, but i feel like i have a good understanding of my ups and downs to differentiate between when i’m going through it and when it’s just something abnormal happening.

is there anything i should do about this? i wasn’t sure if this is cause for concern or some deep underlying issue with my health. of course the good old google search is gonna tell you that you have everything. is there anyone else who struggles with this and should i bring it up with a doctor? thank you! <3

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