I’m so torn right now.

Four years ago we froze 5 embryos. One of them is “inconclusive”, but the other 4 were all normal with 2 boys and 2 girls. We transferred one girl in 2020 and she’s a beautiful, smart, perfect little (almost) three year old. We transferred one boy in 2023 and he’s now a perfect 3-week old. We also have a 6 year old boy who was conceived naturally, so 3 kids total. We always said we’d have 3 kids and be done, plus I’m now 40 and my husband is 50. I have to have C-sections due to health complications, and my pregnancies are always high risk and scary so the idea of getting pregnant again gives me extreme anxiety.

However, looking at my sweet newborn and knowing he’s our last makes me so sad.

My husband and I are so torn about what to do with our last little boy and girl embryos. The thought of “getting rid of them” breaks my heart because they are our babies and I have an emotional attachment to them. I’d love to hold them, raise them , and love them just like our other children. We have the finances to use a surrogate so we could technically transfer both at the same time, but the idea of raising 5 kids also gives me anxiety!

I guess our other option is to give them to another couple in need, but I don’t really like the idea of MY babies being raised by someone other than me because I love them so much. I think I’d prefer this option over just letting them die in a lab, though. We can also just keep paying our annual fee ($900) to keep them frozen indefinitely.

Am I missing another option? What are you doing with your extra babies?