I can’t believe I’m even considering this option. I’ve always been a personal for myself pro lifer but a non judgmental pro choicer for anyone else. I swore I would absolutely never do this. I’ve always loved kids and wanted 4 of my own. I have 3 currently (2 teens and a 3 yr old) I’m 41 years old and feel complete with what I have. Our financial situation is tight and house is out of space. I’m scared of something happening to myself during the pregnancy or after that results in my demise and leaving my babies. I have pvcs and they have already been acting up sooo much and I’m worried they will get worse. I really don’t want to do this all over again. I’m just getting myself back after having my 3 year old.

I’m currently 4 weeks. I need to decide asap. I’m secretly hoping I will just miscarry. I am spotting a little brown here n there but I know that’s pretty common. I go to bed not wanting to do this pregnancy again at all to wake up the next morning feeling guilty for feeling that way and wanting to keep it.

It’s only week 4 and I already feel like crap. How much worse will it get.

Why do I feel like I do not want it at all only to then change my mind. Idk what to do :(