I just know I’m going to get so much crap for this but

I’m on my fourth child currently pregnant getting close to my due date I’m having second thoughts it’s an abusive relationship with a toxic narcissist and it’s been eating me up inside the guilt of feeling like maybe just handing the baby over to him after birth and giving him all rights mind you I love all of my kids with everything in me but I struggled as a single mom before even getting into a relationship with this man if anyone understands what it’s like to be in a relationship with a toxic abusive partner they would understand they manipulate you put you down to your lowest and say and do anything to keep you around I’ve never had a good relationship with my family and I don’t really have friends so ofc he took that to his advantage so yes I know I still decided to have a baby by him but I was vulnerable and lonely and I fell into his trap I don’t feel like he will be a bad father he’s just no good for relationships I feel bad for wanting to give up and walk away but he really makes me feel less of what I am i find days where I want to be happy about the pregnancy and the baby on the way but I never wanted to keep bringing babies into this world into a broken home I wanted marriage a two family household but lately it seems like the only way that will work with us is if i accept the bare minimum and disrespect what can i do to make this feeling go away ive never felt so un attatched to a baby or pregnancy before this really breaks me inside im not even the type to feel this way