I am been married for 5 yrs with total 10 yrs of relationship with hubby and have a toddler now. After COVID i found out he was flirting with his colleague and it devastated me coz he didn't feel like he was doing wrong instead told me that he was happy i stopped him and he would hv end doing something wrng. When i shared him my feelings about being lonely as he work on ship and insecure as he doesn't give bare minimum affection which he replied that I am being cranky and he shows his affection by keeping me safe n comfort. I stopped sharing my feelings with him as i can't without getting hurt in return. With his rude responses

As he wouldn't hear my feelings I start venting out on strangers as they won't judge me by chatting online. This actually made me come out with the insecurities and love my self back. I stopped when I felt better.

Since COVID working from home as impacted my mental health a lot as I didnt hv friends and it didn't impacted much as I had colleagues to tlk to but that too reduced after WFH.

After hubby came back frm ship we started fighting on small things and he would pack his bag and ready to leave me. But I always though of what society would think of me and my daughter needs the father figure I shouldn't b spoiling their relationship. As i am orphan i knw how it feels growing up without parents.

He asked me for a second baby which i declined coz of his behaviour of leaving me on any fights. Which frustrated him and he stopped talking to me. I realised being with him he has never let me grow or encouraged me always scared me to that he is nt here so don't do it. There wer things like i wanted to do learn bike, change of job, working abroad and now upgrading myself. Always giving excuses that we don't hv money.

I wanted to tlk to someone as a friends and create my own bubble so badly I don't trust my sister as she judges and doesn't understand me.

I found this app We3 wer as per our personality they make groups of 3 people and u can connect with them. I was looking for some girl friends as it would easy to hangout with them without hubby doubting me. But there aren't any girls responsive. I was matched in one group but one of them didn't join and i just chatted as a friend with guy who was married and we both wer in same mindset of making just a friend. We chatted like usual sharing what was going on in life and likes and dislike.

My hubby got frustrated with me saying ur sharing with strangers and I am going to leave u when said if u hv problem with it den tell me nicely I will stop it. But instead he says you can find another father for ur daughter.

I am fed up and have given up on this marriage