What if your soulmate made your life harder

Question

Im married to.my best friend and soulmate. I love my husband with all my heart. Weve been together 8 yrs and married 5. We have a child together. But he overworks himself and drives. Today, for the 2nd time, he fell asleep driving home from his 2nd job and totalled yet another truck. Were already struggling financially. I love him so much but he makes stupid choices that make life that much harder. What would you do?       EDIT I work full time as well. His 2nd job doest pay mucj at all so he doesnt even have to work it which is why we always argue about him doing it when hes already dog tired

Answer

Is it being overtired or something else going on? I am a wife of a recovering alcoholic is why I ask

Answer

Do you work? 
If not, maybe you could help lessen his load and pick up a part time job to give him a break so he can cut back? 
If you’re both working and he has to work this hard to keep up financially, you need to reevaluate your expenses 
He could be dead or kill someone else, this is not something to take lightly.

Answer

I'll be honest my husband has destroyed one vehicle due to not checking the oil and driving it without oil for 160 miles whe. He was 21 and it was right after we got engaged. He learnes his lesson. Then he hit a deer with the next car and continually feel asleep at the wheel. We moved to be in the same town as his work because he really struggles to stay awake while driving past 20 minutes of driving. After him driving off of the road multiple times he fell alseep and drifted into the opposite lane and almost hit a semi truck going 80 mph. He came home and told me he couldn't do the drive anymore and needed to move closer to work. We did and we haven't had any issues since. It sounds like your husband is too tired and overworked.

Answer

The honest truth is that soul mate or not, spending your life with someone (whether a marriage, a kid, or a family member) is going to make your life harder. That’s part of having relationships. Hard doesn’t mean bad. 
That being said, for his safety and your sanity, you guys need to find a solution to this problem. Explain to him that it’s not just the expense (I would hope) but that you’re incredibly concerned for his well-being (I would hope). It’s not just about the second job, he has a family that’s relying on him to not die. And if he doesn’t care about that it might be time for him to seek help from a therapist or something because it honestly sounds like he has deeper struggles than he’s letting on.

Answer

Working 2 jobs sounds very hard. He probably is very tired. You need to work together to find a solution.

Answer

First, hello! I hope you are having a great day today! 
Second, after CAREFULLY reading your post I can definitely understand why this is frustrating to you. I’m NOT going to ask dumb questions like “ Do you work? Is he an alcoholic?”, because you clearly stated in last portion of your paragraph “EDIT I work full time as well. His 2nd job doest pay much at all so he doesnt even have to work it which is why we always argue about him doing it when hes already dog tired”. Also due to the fact that you never mentioned any addictions or substances abuse, being asked that or even suggesting you look into that is INSANE (my opinion). Especially since there was NO mentioning of that whatsoever. 
I said this to say be careful when asking for advice on any app that offers it, or from anyone for that matter, because there all types of relationships, situations, and circumstances that people refer back to when giving advice. Whether the advice is tainted with issues that streamed from ANOTHER PERSON’s relationship now being casted onto you, but is called advice TO THEM. Or whether the advice is pure and genuine and it gives you ways to communicate better in your situation. It is still better to be careful when asking for advice from anyone but especially on an app. 
Third, you mentioned “he overworks and drives.” 
My Question: Is this his first time displaying this type of behavior? 
Answer: If no.
Advice: Reflect on when it the behavior started, and Where were you two are/were standing financially at the time the behavior started?
Reason: Though some men are not great with communicating, they are great at buckling down and handling business. In latent term, they are great at finding solutions to a problem. Whether the solution to them is getting more hours at work to bring in extra money, so they can pull their family out of a financial bind. Or whether the solution is that they simply have to over work themselves so the family do not see them as a failure. 
Truth: This may seem like great solutions , however they are flawed because MEN NEGLECT TO REMEMBER THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS AND NOT ROBOTS. Men sometime forget that they do not run off batteries. They must have at least 8 hours to rest and give their mind and body a break. 
Solution: Communicate effectively. Do not communicate with the intention of being heard and understood. Do Communicate with the intention of being accepting and coming up with a plan that works for both of you. 
Example: 
Do not communicate with the intention of being heard and understood. This means do not use words like need and listen. This is what I mean…
You: Hey we need to talk. 
Him: Ok. 
You: This is the second time you’ve fallen asleep behind to wheel and totaled yet again another vehicle. If you’d listen to me and quit the second job we wouldn’t be in this situation of needing another vehicle while yet struggling to keep our heads above ground. 
Him: So you think I’m purposely doing this. I work …….
Now there’s an argument. Now no one is listening to the other person. Now everyone is making points from a “stand offish “ stand point. Most importantly no one is working together to fix the actual problem.
Do not do this! 
Do Communicate with the intention of being accepting and coming up with a plan that works for both of you.  This means using words like concerned, can, come together,appreciate, etc. This is what I mean…
You: Hey sweetie, can we talk for a moment? 
Him: Ok.
You: I’m really concerned about you falling asleep behind the wheel.  I know that we are not financially sound right now, and I appreciate all the hard work you are taking to get us through this difficult time. I would really like if we could come together on finding a safer way to get us through this time that does not involve one of us loosing the other person due to lack of resting and overworking. 
Now, this opens up a door for accepting that there is a serious problem and working together, NOT APART, is the best way to fix the problem. This allows for a more effective conversation. 
Do this! 
Above I went into details on what to do if the answer if no. If the answer is yes, the same rules apply. First, reflect on when the behavior started. Second, try to understand his reasons, whether the reasons be understandable to you or not (these reasons are valid to him). Third, communicate effectively with your partner! 
Please remember your vows. You promised things that you never promised anyone else ( I hope ). Use your love as a way to communicate not your emotions. 
I pray this helps you!

Answer

He needs  to quit his second job and if you don't have a job get one. He's going to end up killing himself in an accident working himself to the point of exhaustion while trying to support you and your child.

Answer

I found out soul mates is just that a lesson in life..and exoerience rather good or difficult .. A twin flame is an attactment of two souls in love.. Atleast thats how i came about understanding true feelings of love and understanding

What if your soulmate made your life harder

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