So this is very complicated but can also be simple at the same time. I've been struggling a lot with my health on and off the past few years. My energy levels, low libido, intermittent depression, and I have good days of course and seem to have a trend of upward, but I've been battling this for a while trying to pray for answers and guidance in faith but also researching on how to heal my body from what I don't know what for sure.(doctors have tested me for years and cannot find anything.) I used to feel so close to God. I have never been a person to experience very many physical manifestations, apart from being physically healed, but just knowing in my spirit Some days was enough. Now the thought of praying just feels like it will sap every bit of energy from me and it makes me feel so exhausted mentally and emotionally, and I've experienced this when I am feeling both drained physically and on some of my better days. Of course I have questions, but I don't consider myself bitter at God for not answering me or anything, nor do I feel like I do not believe in him as I have witnessed too many signs and miracles to not believe. It scares me to admit this, some days I just feel like I don't have the "Energy" to want to talk to him or worship him or anyhow communicate or talk about faith or think about scripture or things of God, theology, or church. I feel like it may be simple depression, burnout or my subconcious way of protecting myself from trust issues with God, because even though I still believe, maybe that could have change. But I want to want to be with him. It just feels so hard to make myself do it and I feel so weak and like a baby spiritually, and I can't believe I am back at what seems like square one, where I am struggling to do basic things I have shared and taught with others. Am I reprobate, is there any hope left for me, is this just a long season where I need to be patient? I question nearly every single day if my mood issues are a result of my physical ailments, and if God is going to understand or still judge me harshly, if I have some sort of chemical imbalance or somethibg. (nothing came up on any tests but I was basically diagnosed with PMDD) I don't understand how I can feel so apathetic about it but at the same time I obviously care or I would not be asking strangers online who are probably going to pummell me with smart mouthed responses. With that being said, if all the real ones would please pray that I find my joy in Christ again, and get my health and libido back so I can enjoy life with my husband again. P.S. I do have a christisn therapist and I have for several months now, but I do not notice much change yet.