Is this a red flag?

Question

I’ve been seeing this guy for 4 months now.. He has a huge friend group (all of them are married or in long term relationships) and they go out to eat at least 1-2 times a week after work together and on the weekends they are always at a bar somewhere together. We haven’t really met each others friends/family yet so right now I feel like I’m kinda competing with his friends for his attention😕 I don’t want to pull him away from his friends, especially because one of his best friends just passed away in a car accident.. but I’m just really starting to feel left out and sometimes neglected because we only see each other like once a week. He’s very consistent in texting/calling me. He is super sweet to me and gives lots of effort.. I just wish he gave more when it came to spending time together🥺

Tonight I asked him if he wanted to go eat tomorrow night and he goes “yeah babe, if I don’t have plans”.. it just made me feel like I’m the second option behind his friends.

What do I do ?

Tonight I asked him if he wanted to go eat tomorrow night and he goes “yeah babe, if I don’t have plans”.. it just made me feel like I’m the second option behind his friends.

What do I do ?

Answer

I don't think him wanting to hang out with his friends. A lot is a red flag. He's just a social person. However… I do think that when you asked him if he wants to go out to eat, and he said, "if I don't have plans". That is a red flag. You're trying to make a plan with him and he's saying he wants to stay open in case someone else wants to make a plan with him instead. No Bueno. ￼

Answer

Have you told him this? Normally couples spend more time together than once a week. Maybe he’s not ready for a relationship.

Answer

My husband had a balance of hanging out with his friends and dating me.. sometimes he cancelled on seeing his friends as we developed into more.. but he made it clear that he wanted to be with his friends as well as me and not me all the time.. otherwise he isn't keeping up with his relationships.. but in ur case.. ur not a priority.. just an after thought to me.

Answer

Do you have friends?

Answer

4 months isn’t long. I would not see it at is a red flag. It would be a red flag of you to try to be controlling about that after 4 months. But maybe you can ask to go out with them sometimes and meet his friends/family

Answer

I was fully thinking this man isn't doing anything wrong up until you asked him about hanging out and he said if I don't have plans . That sounded like he was holding out for better plans

Is this a red flag?

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