To marry or not to marry, that is the question

Hey ladies I need guidance!

So me and partner have been dating for over a decade with me kids and have had many talks about marriage. Well his mother has made it publicly, and humiliatingly, clear she wants us to get married. (Mind you that woman has been married three times and divorced three times). We haven’t talked about marriage in a while because it just hasn’t came up and we have lives to live you know. Well recently I’ve been thinking about it and I would love to marry my partner but the thought of it doesn’t appeal to me anymore because of his mother.

I know that once I marry into his family I will have to deal with her indefinitely and I don’t want to do that. She’s not the worse person but she’s also not the friendliest. Theres trauma with her that I don’t want to get into with me and her and also the lack of presence with her and our kids but we’ll be here all day if I start! I don’t want my boyfriend to have to chose between her or me if we do get married but I also don’t want to be stuck playing princess and being nice to her for the rest of my life.

And I know I’ll be marrying him not her but once holidays come around or birthdays that’s the time when families come together and I don’t know what to do!

Of course I know not everyone can get along with everyone that’s not what I’m saying. But like if we get married of course I know he’s gonna want her to be at the wedding but I don’t want her there because like I started before it’s like it’s her MISSION to get us to get married so it’s like it’s her wedding not necessarily ours if that makes sense.

I already told my boyfriend this and he’s a little hurt by it of course but stated that not marrying me is not a deal breaker but he did always want to marry me. That’s why I’m rethinking all of this again.

WHAT DO I DOOOO!!